It saddens me that these young adults will never know true love. The kind of love that lasts a lifetime. True, my generation may have had a shot at it and then abandoned marriages when they got tough, but these young one really don't have a shot at all.
God ordained the union of a man and a woman telling us that the two become one. When a person gives their body to another, they unite in more than just a physical way. The real joy in this union is the unity that it brings to relationship. You give a piece of who you are. Each time partners change a piece goes away with the prior lover until there is nothing left but the physical. Any surprise that men are now referred to as "boy-toys" and women have all types of demeaning references applied? People are reduced to objects with no lasting value.
Marriage is tough in most cases. It is the love that is tested. In marriage you cannot just walk away from your partner when they are out of favor or have treated you unkindly. It is where you make a choice to cling to your partner and work for their best. You choose in Christian marriage to continue to invest, even double down when times are hard and you don't see a great outcome, because you trust that God can affect an outcome for His glory even beyond what you can see.
In marriage we learn how to forgive offenses that we inevitably receive (and commit). In marriage we learn to be patient when we don't get our way. We learn to be kind toward someone other than ourselves. We hold the other high and work to help them become all they dream. In marriage we don't harm the other with demeaning words but work to build the other up. Marriage is where we learn to noble character qualities and have those qualities tested before we go out into the world.
In marriage there is great security. A haven at the end of a frustrating day where your partner cares about you. A comfort to know that you have an ally in the midst of a world with so much strife and evil. Even on the days when you are unlovely, there is someone who will not leave your side. There is someone who will encourage you to think about the lovely, the pure, the noble things of life. Someone who cares enough not to allow you to wallow in negativity but will redirect your thoughts and allow you to draw from their strength when you are weak.
In marriage, you are not alone. You no longer live for just yourself but you are a unit that only functions as you intertwine your thoughts and life choices. Their is no option of going it alone. You are one. To separate would be to take your soul and tear it in a way that can no longer be repaired. Every separation is a blow. Is it any wonder that those outside of marriage see relationships so negatively that they refuse to commit to another?
I do not subscribe to the philosophies of those who say that they can be in a commuted union outside of marriage. The ultimate commitment is to go before God and witnesses to pledge yourself for life to another and then honor that commitment throughout the remainder of your days. To abandon your way and pledge yourself to the common good.
My heart aches for my friends who think they are in a loving relationship outside marriage. They may know physical intimacy and they may know the joy of common interests but they do not know the satisfaction that comes with a love that is a lifelong commitment and has weathered the tests that would seek to break that love, knowing that by holding that relationship high they could overcome the tests and see what heights there are to love.
Our Lord gave us the example of love that we live out in marriage. While we were still sinners (rebellious and hostile toward him) he gave his life and bore those sins in himself so that we could know fellowship with the Father and have the hope of eternity in Heaven. Fellowship with the Father and eternity in Heaven is the ultimate goal of marriage. To help your spouse grow in their faith and knowledge of Christ so they can be victors in life. They can have the assurance of Heaven and peace in the midst of their storms on earth.
There are people who give up on their spouses before they see this goal achieved. They lose faith in their partner. As long as our spouse has breath there is hope. God has not exhausted hope for any individual here. We should not either. If we are married to a wayward spouse or are frustrated by differences in purpose, God has not given up and we their spouses have been uniquely sent to them for such a time as this. We are given to pray for them, because who will of we don't? We are given to encourage them to take a step if faith and trust in the promises of God. We are given to be Jesus for them and to lay down even our lives so that they can have the hope of Heaven and know true love while here on earth.
Marriage is our best reflection of godly love. To embrace our mate with all their faults and see the potential that God sees in them and work for their good. There is no other relationship that can compete for that level if deep intimacy. We all long to be loved deeply and at a soul level, not just for what we can give to the other. That love is found in marriage.
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