I remember praying one day feeling frustrated with family dysfunction and drama that God would bring someone into my life who was just interested in me, no manipulation and no demands. Shortly thereafter, some of my friends were organizing a double date. My best friend was to be set up with the nephew of another friend so she could take her beau out. My best friend declined, preferring to wait at home for the call that might just come through. And so I was selected as the substitute for a blind date to take place on Friday the 13th. God at work to bring a shy but headstrong girl into a relationship with a boy. Later, I came to understand him as the answer to my prayer.
This young man shared his thoughts about life. He was certainly more traveled and more experienced in life than I was. There were some clues along the way of some obsessive behavior, but I was oblivious since I was the latest obsession. He shared his belief that anyone should be able to do anything they wanted as long as it wasn't hurting someone else. I shared my desire to follow God and honor Him through my life. I didn't know that these two philosophies would conflict so greatly through the years.
Even in dating years, it was apparent that his "stuff" was highly valued. His cars and all the add ons to trick them out were central to him. Washing and detailing the inside and out were all day affairs and done at least once a week. I remember opening a soda and on popping the lid some soda spit out inside his car. It was a crucial point in our relationship. I saw it a no big deal we will just wipe it away. He saw it as an intentional contamination of the pristine car he had just cleaned. Later after we were married about two months there was an accident. The bleach cap was not tightly secured and bleach leaked out over our clothes but also on the car seat where we had placed the laundry basket. I was fairly certain that was the end of our marriage.
We were both accustomed to being masters of our destiny; calling our own shots. We were leaders and not followers, but we weren't always leading in the same direction. I liked that he knew his own mind until it came up against something I was passionate about. Will on will; like iron sharpening iron we went through our dating years each determined not to bend our wills to the other, but still finding each other captivating. As for me, in quiet moments I saw a young vulnerable man covering up insecurity by overcompensating. No one would ever guess he had doubts because he would choose a direction and plunge headlong into it no matter where it ended. I suppose I did the same. My vulnerabilities were left to quiet moments in prayer.
When during the course of our dating, my parents separated, I dropped out of college and really didn't know what was next for me, he offered to get an apartment for us. It wasn't how I envisioned our relationship going but I didn't see other options at the time. He was at a crossroads himself and began to explore the military as an option.
He visited the recruiter who gave him some tests. He has always been very intelligent and did very well. They recommended him for the nuclear program and assured him he would make more money than he knew what to do with. It just seemed logical to him that we would get married so I could go with him. And so we did.
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