Marriage Differences part 4

The peace that can be derived from self help is superficial. Even in my return to church, the personal love and devotion I had as a teen for The Lord did not return as deep as in my earlier years.There was a comfort and a sense of rightness, but it was outward.  I longed for answers to resolve the conflict of my soul and to revive my marriage. 

Larry Burkett said that our management of money was an outward indicator of our true spiritual condition. I began to see  that my husband was relying on "Stuff" and his natural talents to provide for him. God was distant and not personal. When I was able to consider my husband's need for a relationship with The Lord, my focus changed. 

I began praying for him in earnest and continue to this day to ask The Lord to soften his heart toward the spiritual, convict his heart of sin, open his eyes to see salvation and release him from this bondage of materialism in his life. By this point, he had several cars and a motorcycle. His life was in the garage. With my return to developing my walk with The Lord, our lives seemed to have less in common and caused me to pray all the more. 

In my weakened spiritual state, I was in no condition to preach. I needed to learn and apply. Every lesson needed to take time to sink in. I needed to be reminded of who God is and the depths of his love. I had strayed and violated my relationship with God like the harlot that Hosea reclaimed, God had reclaimed my life, but I had a long way to go. I was humbled to see how much I had left my faith and failed to look to God to help me in my distress. 

Now I looked and prayed that God might suddenly work a miracle. Instant results. But that was not God's way for me. I was to first come face to face with my own need before I could minister to another. God placed me in a church and a Sunday School where people were seeking to know and apply God's word. My husband started to come with me as his contribution to compromise. 

I had much to learn about the love of God and how it is played out in the marriage relationship. My prayers for my husband made me more sensitive to his spiritual need and in turn The Lord developed a greater compassion for my husband. This was no longer a battle of wills but a fight for eternity playing out in the daily choices we made.