Monday, April 13, 2015

Abandonment of Marriage

Recently, our local news station posted an article on the reason that marriages no longer work. I will post the link for you to read for yourself, but the primary reasons given were related to intimacy and finances. People just don't connect with each other on a deeply personal basis; technology has changed the dynamic of our interactions. Financially, the cost of education has crippled many financially and they cannot make enough to support a family and pay their debts. 

I would like to address the intimacy part first. Marriage is organized for intimacy. I believe it is the closest thing we will ever come to knowing the love of God. Two imperfect people, different in so many ways are drawn together for life. A three cord strand not easily broken, we cling together through the trials and hardships of life. In marriage we have a companion to experience life with us and support us through the deep valleys and rejoice with us on the mountain-tops. 

I admit when I married, I was so naive. I had no idea what commitment I was making. I couldn't know. I was drawn to my husband by a deeper personal connection. He could seem to understand my drives, my goals in life, he accepted me warts and all. I was drawn to his creativity, loyalty and passion. No matter what he faced he would work at it until he saw solution. No problem unsolved. We had a connection and we acted on it. 

Marriage is important in God's eyes. In the Bible it is regarded in highest esteem and violations of that covenant are met with harsh judgement. It is the one relationship where you are completely exposed and vulnerable yet loved. I don't think the relationship can be duplicated without the marriage covenant because the partners have no commitment to remain together. When storms of life or bad behavior cause one partner to question the wisdom of staying together there is no obligation to stay. There is no sense of unconditional love that bears all things believes all things; the true love all of us crave. Without marriage we give up hoping for that kind of love. 

We now have more than 1/2 of our children being born in families of unmarried couples. These children often do not have a father present in their lives and do not know the security of having mom at home when they arrive home from school or the joy of going to a ballgame, fishing or hunting with dad. The one factor that seems to contribute to poverty the most is single parenthood. If people think they can't afford to be married, imagine the costs of single living. Far too many couples leave their marriages for financial reasons all to find themselves worse off after divorce. 

Security is greatest when there are two parents present. Even if there are no children, the cost of living separately is greater. The true condition that causes marriages to fail or never happen in the first place is that we are selfish by nature. We like things our way and we stubbornly refuse to accommodate someone else. God ordained marriage that we would learn how to really love. God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son to save a sinner like me. God has not required that level of sacrifice on my part, but he does allow conflict and hardship to whittle away at my hardness so that I can become more like my Lord. 

The greatest achievements do not come without commitment and sacrifice. If we choose to abandon these qualities and avoid marriage, we choose to settle for a life of little impact. A life of mediocrity. 

Just a final thought. At the very time when heterosexual young adults are abandoning marriage, homosexual couples are desperately fighting for their right to unite and legitimize their relationships. This unionizing of gay couples will further degrade the covenant of marriage. Marriage is a holy covenant made before God. To ask God to bless what He has clearly spoken against is blasphemy. God will be the one to judge our nation of we deface the marriage covenant. This month our courts will determine whether we will nationalize same sex marriages and force recognition of legitimacy in every state.  If marriage doesn't work, why bother with such dramatic actions?  

May God richly bless you as you seek Him and as you serve Him. 

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